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May all your hot dates end up in your bed. -Here's to honor: to getting honor, keeping honor, and not getting off her 'til you get off honor. Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life.So lets get wasted all of the time and have the time of our life. After all, a good sense of humor is important in every relationship. So do memorize them and use them at your next Thanksgiving dinner. Explanation: What you say to someone to encourage them to have a . If youre going to drink, drink with me., 4. A well-delivered toast can mean the difference between a good night and a great night. To the guy who says, My turn to buy! Heres to those who seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and cannot tell the difference., 23. Sermons and soda-water May you live all the days of your life.Jonathan Swift, 67.) The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift because its the present., #8. Remembering good St. Patrick, who by strategy and stealth, Drove all the snakes from Ireland. 3.) 23.) Here are some clever, thoughtful, and humorous anniversary toasts to help you achieve better intimacy with your significant other on your anniversary. See more ideas about drinking toasts, drinking quotes, funny toasts. Who keeps his word and does not hedge Heres to the women who love me terribly, Heres to woman! And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. To our health: May we all live to be as old as my jokes. It is a sign of appreciation and acceptance of the toast. 12. 14.) Grandpa goes out fishing with little Johnny. Typically, a toast is a type of cheer where someone raises their glass and gives a speech or salute to honor someone or something. And if you drink, may you drink with me. But now I cannot think it. I, Roman Marshanski, based this toast on one of the jokes of a famous comedian. Here's to champagne for our real friends, and a real pain to our sham friends. 128 Views. Heres to the women who love me terribly. But not too many toastings, lest you lose yourself, and then forget about good Patrick and see all those snakes again. The liver is evil and must be punished. Love like youve never been hurt. But the oceans not beer, and Im not a duck, so lets drink these pints and get messed up. 26.) Irish, May you never go to hell May we live to learn well And learn to live well. As for the rest, they can go to Hell. Samuel Johnson, I love to sing and I love to drink "Here's champagne for our real friends, and real pain for our sham friends.". To Imgur! Here's to you. Love like youve never been hurt. 4.) 7.) 0 Shares. Honor to the brave "To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due.". Dance like no-one is watching Four I'm under the host!" "When we drink, we get drunk. Spanish, I used to know a clever toast By 14. #25. A pretty girl and an honest one "Life is a waste of time. May the roof above us never fall in, and may we, as friends, never fall out. ", "I drank to your health in company. No, you want something melodic, meaningful and memorable, something capable of inspiring the troops before they happily careen into battle. Anonymous, No one frolics Video shows Florida alligator easily blasting through a metal fence, Despite zoning law, Tampa city council candidate Blake Casper is using his Bayshore homes as commercial sites. But a whiskey glass and a fat girl's ass are home, sweet home to me. You might like Old Fashioned Quotes, Captions & Jokes. With this collection you can add levity to any special event and will surely add some personal touch to it. To every lovable girl in the land,I offer this little libation.For if ever they all left the country at once,Wed be left in a state of stagnation. May they die of thirst. Time is never wasted. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Copyright 2023 Imscouting.com.com All Rights Reserved. 27.) 20. Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. 13. Patrick Dennis, Steady your glasses Whiskey when youre dry And our ale never turn musty. Ho Ho Ho! 33.) Francis Bacon, When I dream of Heaven 24.) May your girlfriend always be horny for you. What follows is a carefully assembled selection of the grand stalwarts of the past and fresh shouts from the offices of Modern Drunkard Magazine. This is one of the most common college drinking quotes youll ever have. a company that you keep. Yet have no force or power Wholl bury our sons If you must steal, steal kisses. May you continue to thrive under pressure and always find a way to get things done, no matter how chaotic it may seem., Heres to the unicorns, the mythical creatures that grace us with their presence once in a blue moon. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven." Irish Proverb: "Drink is the curse of the land. If you like this funny Irish toast created by AI, youll also like this totally awesome list of 55Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs. Who loves not women, wine, and song, He will be a fool his whole life long. 12.) Sometimes its nice to have a common toast ready that works in every situation. That the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out. Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears. Show off your lyrical skills and impress your friends with this fun rhyme. So please read this section until the end because the best funny toast is at the end. To a good selection, no rejection, a strong erection, a clean injection, and no infection!, 19. We meet to be merry, then let us part wise. Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.Mark Twain, 79.) Here are some funny Christmas toasts to help you make the most out of the beautiful memories of Christmas. Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/SubAmariWant to work with us? We meet to be merry, then let us part wise. From Drinking Song, J. Webley: A toast to Mary, A girl I once loved, Oh Lord, why do things have to die? When the liquor is inside,The pain goes elsewhere. 56.) ", "May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead. Job Automation Using ChatGPT Could Make These Jobs Obsolete Is Your Job On, 18 Weird Facts About Sea-Monkeys You Wont Believe Are True, Including Their, Top 200 Nielsen DMA Rankings (2023) Full List, 7 Pictures Of Naked People Captured By Googles Cameras, The Surprising Story Behind The NBC Chimes, How To Change The Default LG TV Home Screen To Live TV, 20 Famous People Who Are Members Of The Sleepless Elite, Controversial Nimbus 2000 Vibrating Harry Potter Broomstick Has Parents In An Uproar, The Best Caddyshack Quotes: 30 Famous Caddyshack Quotes Thatll Make You Laugh, Is Your Hatch Restore Already Registered? 1) Heres one of those classic toasts from George Bernard Shaw. Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy. Whether it's at a wedding, anniversary, birthday, funeral, or just another night at the bar, we've all had or will have to give a toast at some point in our lives. And damn your souls, Ill drink it! 1. Time is a waste of life. Top 10 best drinking toasts 1.) May our penises always be harder than our lives. When I kiss them, I love them. But dont worry, these toasts are still guaranteed to make you spit out your drink, fall off your chair, and leave you begging for more. Pour me some We love them sitting, standing, lying; if they had wings we'd love them flying. Drink up! Here's to those that wish us well. Four and twenty highballs MDM, Heres to a guy who is never blue And he adds much to my life,He buys me every thing I want ORourke, When youre bleeding in the sand May she smile upon you. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and drink myself up. Tthan to spend tonight like theres no money. All glasses off the table!" 9. Want to sound funny and wise? A Christmas wish May you never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten., #26. I know its Christmas, but heres to another day of being at the office, because once again, Im doing all the work and some fat guy in a suit keeps getting all the credit.. Another famous toast you can use at your best friends bachelor party. Pain makes you stronger. May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty. Enter your email address below and we'll deliver our top stories straight to your inbox, "Here's to those who've seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can't tell the difference. And freedom to the slave. May you never meet her daughter, Miss Fortune., #22. Shes lost her cherry but it doesnt mean a thing, cause shes still got the box that the cherry came in. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of his hand. And mine is the last voice you hear. Best while you have it, use your breath May our friendship never fail May you get a talking parrot who will keep all your secrets and provide an alibi. Click for more. Some ships are wooden ships, but those ships may sink.The best ships are friendships, and to those ships, we drink. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. Anonymous, People talk about our drinking But when the devil comes a knockin For one, they can help to break the ice at a party or gathering. ", "Here's to a long life and a happy one. If youre nervous about meeting new people, a funny toast can help put everyone at ease. Im sure youll agree with my opinion because its really witty. When I meet them, I like them. Youll find the right toast for any occasion, including old Irish toasts and famous quotes to use as toasts. Heres to the women who have used and abused us. An Irish Toast for a Bachelor. 8. Suggested read: 15+ The Simpsons Trivia Questions & Facts Only Real Fans Know. I drank to your health alone. Looking for some fun party games to liven up your next get-together? Artificial intelligence wrote the funny toasts in the following three subsections, but I guess you wouldve never known that if I didnt tell you that. Hope it never comes. Heres to the glass we love so to sip,It dries many a pensive tear;Tis not so sweet as a womans lipBut a damned sight more sincere. If you cheat, may you cheat death. "May neither of you ever lie, cheat or drink . In some cultures, cheersing with water is seen as disrespectful because it symbolizes a lack of wealth. And if you fight, may you fight for a brother. AG. Conditions of Its old news These are some handpicked toasts from the book by Ivor Ben McIvor aptly named Scottish Toasts. Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. To us and our success as a group this past year, and to you and your families for health, peace, and more wonderful times in the coming year. Raise a glass in my name -Here's to those we love the best, we love them best when they're undressed. below:Here's to me. A bird never flew on one wing. When life deals you a bad hand 28.) A cold pint and another one. Be warned, though: a few may not be suitable for all audiences, so choose wisely. George Bernard Shaw, Drink today and drown all sorrow 1. 52.) Always look on the bright side of life because thats how you create beautiful memories. ", "To our wives and girlfriends may they never meet", "Here's to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will. Dont know if Ive lived in sin We love 'em in leather. Work like you dont need the money. No retreat no surrender", "May the roof above us never fall in, and may we as friends never fall out. So may we always believe in the impossible and never stop chasing our wildest dreams, no matter how absurd it may seem to others., To the overthinkers, the ones who analyze every situation to death. Sometimes even sober. So fill your glass to anything Francis Beaumont & John Fletcher. Are you ready to party with awesomely funny toasts? ", "May the best of your past be the worse of your future. This is always a good one to overcome bad times. May the rocks in your field turn to gold. Heres to alcohol,Which often makes one see doubleAnd feel single. Heartbreak makes you wiser. Heres to the girls who doAnd heres to the girls who dontAnd heres to the girls who say they never will,But when the time comes, wont.But heres to the girls most of all,Who says they never will:I cant. A round to the worst Dance like nobodys watching.Satchel Paige, 73.) Pockets full of rye For sure one of the best college drinking toasts youll ever come across. May you live to be as old as your jokes., #9. A quick death and an easy one. 31. Two at the very most. 34.) Let us begin." Mother Teresa. The test of Gold is FireThe test of Truth is TimeThe test of Gods love are the heavens aboveand everything sublime.Treasures in life are many,dreams realized but few.But I know the test of Gods goodnessis when he gave me a friend like you. MGrooms94 10 yr. ago. Than an anonymous alcoholic. It has that sauciness of Irish drinking toasts, and it's better than just saying, "Drink up!" "My friends are the best friends. But always be on your way. Friends may come and friends may go, but liquor comes to soothe the blow., 22. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. I wont. Well we always have some good toasts when we take a shot, some of . MDM, Heres to steak when youre hungry 11. till it's out of me and out of you. All Rights Reserved. Drink to life and the passing show And the eyes of the prettiest girl you know. Editor/Publisher of Modern Drunkard Magazine. When I like them, I kiss them. So lets get wasted all of the time and have the time of our life., #6. But that is why we like um! Established Member. 13.) Omar Khayyam He who makes a beast of himself Heres to those who wish us well,All the rest can go to h. I used to know a clever toast.But now I cannot think it.So fill your glass to anything.And damn your souls, Ill drink it. Traditionally, the act of clinking glasses before taking a drink is believed to have originated from warriors. I am in a faraway land But enough about me, heres to you. 6. We drink to those who love us, we drink to those who dont. I drank to your health so many times I nearly ruined my own. When we commit no sin, we go to Heaven. Heres to the bastards ToastsforMen | ToastsforWomen | GayToasts | ToastAnecdotes | BawdyDefinitions | AntiquatedBawdyToasts | BawdyGermanToasts | CheersBigEars 1.) "May you live as . Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. on [Retrieved from http://www.tamut.com/toasts/ on 15 August 2003], Here's a toast to the Man I love, he is rich It's your birthday, so drink as many glasses as you want. 22. | What's New | Work like you dont need the money. Cheers to the real rulers of the world!, Heres to the humans, those clueless creatures who think theyre in control. Naturally, they have quite a few that are just right for New Year's Eve. We have only today. 84.) Wouldnt that be a nice toast to find on a beer bottle? So why not get wasted all the time, and have the time of our life., 2. Collection. 10. Return to Toast Categories. ".here's to maintaining proper Ph Levels in our vaginas, yeast infections!" 2. freshcutgrass 10 yr. ago. My most brilliant achievement was persuading you to marry me.. So fill your glass to anything, And damn your souls, I'll drink it!" "I love to drink martinis. To h: May the stay there be as fun as the way there. 59.) ", "Here's to milk, eggs, bread and cinnamon. poke her in the butt, and you won't knock her up! May your bank account always be like the capital of Ireland always Dublin. Check to see if it is in Getz I 39. If you have a bawdy or erotic toast, please send it to me at . These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. Famous Irish Blessing. 40.) May the sun shine warm upon your face; The rain fall soft upon your fields. May the sound of happy music, and the lilt of Irish laughter, fill your heart with gladness, that stays forever after. In the third year of marriage, they both speak and the neighbors listen., #16. 53.) Heres to the next one Heres to being naughty and saving Santa a trip., #29. For toasts that are primarily for men click here ; for toasts that are primarily for women click here . Ive always wanted to create a space where I can express my creativity and explore various topics that interest me. It is customary to take a sip of your drink when someone toasts you.